It's only springtime

I have put off writing for a while and focused on getting my footing with a lot of life changes in the past several months. If you ever want to talk to me about the current state of our government, I have many words on that one but saved them for my personal journal for now. Anyone else suddenly looking for a job? Hello? Is this thing on?

I am trying to lean into my unstructured time to de-winterize and get as close to my true inner state as possible. Doing the things that make people say, “I saw x and it reminded me of how you do this” and also paving the way for that definition of the personal self to shift. Not for external validation, but for fun!!!!!!

This Saturday we went to Home Depot and I spent $27 dollars on a few herbs, a marigold plant, and some blue gardening gloves with flowers on them (so my neighbors know I mean business but am also a stylish individual while digging weeds). I deep cleaned my side porch and dug out all the old dried stems from the previous tenant’s plant box. It was one of the more thrilling activities I have done in a while, which may sound like I lead an extremely dull life (debatable), but just felt magnificent to create something and make space for living things in my environment and an avenue to appreciate them. It felt like a reminder that we are actually probably creating something all the time, or can if we try.

Now I wake up daily to check how my three little plants are doing and make sure a lizard isn’t eating them. Today I even paired the event with an OJ and toast. These things matter.